Chasity Nichole

Chasity was one of the most beautiful babies I had ever seen in my life and I was her mother, and I have seen a lot of beautiful babies but this baby girl was mine.

When I look back into the past and think about the thing I desired most in my life, it was the desire to become a Mother, no shame in me for wanting to become a Mother, it is still the best choice I made in my life, to become a mother and spare the life of my unborn babies, because all life is sacred and there is nothing on this planet more important than life, at least that is to me. No matter how many ugly remarks have been made towards my children I have never regretted having any of them and I'm so glad I held my peace because I have wanted to tell people FUCK you so many times, but I never did.  

I knew I always to become a mother and have no regrets about any of my children being born, I only wish I had the ten children I always wanted. I have five living and two deceased and two miscarriages. And a lot of negative comments from people who hate life and children. To those who hate other people children, be glad you don't have to raise them, their not yours to begin with and another woman's pussy and what passes thru her birth canal has nothing at all to do with you and how you living. 

So many people have been trained to think the birth of a baby is a bad thing, but there is nothing more precious on this earth than the innocence of a new born baby, FUCK those who don't think so.

I have heard so many comments about all mine and why you got so many, in such nasty ways or why you want all them children, how many you got, how many more you want, you need to leave them babies where they at and stop having so many children and you ain't gone have no man with all them children running around behind you, why you got so many, right in my children face like they don't even matter. Well they all matter to me each and every one of them, they are all important to me and my five children have been the wind beneath my wings when I wanted to give up I couldn't, I had to go on for them and all those who didn't want them to be here FUCK you.

I started this post to honor my daughter Chasity Nichole Willis who was born with a congenital birth defect, Wernick Hoffmann disease type two, the doctor's gave her a year, she lived to the age of three, the picture is her on her third birthday.

It was stressful caring for her and still trying to work, no one but my mom was there to help me care for her when she came home from the hospital. She had to live on a ventilator with a tracheostomy tube in her throat and a feeding tube in her nose. Right before her first birthday she stopped breathing on her own and the doctor's asked me if I wanted them to save her or to let her die and my mom and aunts said no let her live and I did and after her first year in the hospital she finally made it home to the single wide trailer I lived in with no AC and it was hot, so hot it was unbearable and I had no money for a window unit and no one I personally knew would help me to get her a window unit not one of my cousins, aunts, no bank, no one.

There was a man old enough to be my dad who had always asked my for my pussy, he even told me "I should have molested you when you was young and you would give it to me, but I was scared of you mom". Imagine that, he made me sick to my stomach, but every time he seen me he asked me for my pussy and promised me he would take care of me, but I had no desires for him until my baby needed that AC unit. I went to him and told him I need one hundred and fifty dollars to buy a AC unit for my daughter and he said, Oh I heard you got a sick baby, I can see him past the tears in my eyes , he was a nice looking man, with a gold tooth and a nice smile. I had sex with him that night and he gave me one fifty and my baby got her window unit that next day and my mama asked me no questions and I said nothing, every time I needed money I went to him until he went to prison and that ended our affair because was married.

I would have sold my kidney if it would have saved her life so to sell a lil pussy, I don't have any regrets and would do it again if I have to for those who I love the most even the son I got while I was having sex with him, but that is questionable because of the one time I had sex with Chasity's dad again. I really liked him, but I was not the only one he was seeing, and the girl he started dating was awful to me and my baby... 

Bunny was a real bitch to me and my daughter about John. I met him at my sisters house and we had sex and started dating and he would come to my house and spend the night and then I was pregnant and had a baby and then my cousin told me he was seeing someone else because she was the one dropping him off at her house and it went sour real fast because I was not even sure he was her real dad and really didn't care when I found out about Bunny, I felt I deserved it, but not my baby. She would say horrible things about my baby who was sick, she wished her dead so many times and it was so odd to me when my baby died this sick ass twisted BITCH called me to tell me how sorry she was my baby was dead, this BITCH called me so much she had all my number no matter how much I changed them and then I found out my brothers wife was the one giving her the number, and my cousin, BITCHES.

When I look back to my home town, I see no reason to visit, no one there who really loved me when I needed it most. All my children are grown and now I have grandchildren who need me and its in my heart to be there for them as long as I can breath, now I did say it is in my heart, but somewhere in time that may change and I may not feel that way, but now I do.

I would like to get in a position in my life where I can babysit for my grands like my grandparents did for my mom when I was growing up, I want to be a help for my children so they can make it in life and can have all the things they need so they can stay together as a family and can, and will, have each other's back. If we would learn to pull together in life it want be so hard, but so many people rather see you naked and in the streets than in a damn one room shack, FUCK them.