Always use your hands

I need to use my hands to defend myself as long as I can against those who wish me harm of while trying to raise a child or to own an animal...

They being the child or the animals need to know beyond fear that we can use our hands to defend or discipline you and more so with animals they don’t understand on the same level as us and their parents don’t use a switch or a belt or paddle they use their body too feed them and to teach them, and they use their body to discipline them as well not a leach they understand each other with body gestures and they connect on the ground level or floor with the baby there...

My son has brought a dog here for me to raise, this dog has the hardest head in a dog I have ever seen, I know he a puppy but he love starting shit all the got dam time, he want quit. Nino beat his ass over and over again and each time I break them up...

Imma stop getting in the middle so he will earn Nino respect because I’m having a hard time earning his respect too...

Hell im still trying to earn my children respect it seems or why do they have such a hard time earning mine...

I greet people with respect who I don’t even know I give what I know and hope to learn my place with others as I go along...

Some people are open to a greeting while others will go beyond a simple greeting they will extend a warm welcome and a conversation that can last for hours if you not always so pressed for time...

I have rushed for so many years trying to get there and once there forced to make a quota that rushes me all day long so when I have free time I still feel rushed...

I love pictures, this is www.homedepot.com during Halloween 2018, I love capturing pictures, it and writing are my hobbies...

I feel so rushed I can’t wait for something to be over like a simple walk. A walk is so hard for me to do because I’m trying so hard to hurry this walk because it is no longer pleasant for me to be outside because of folk, because of others who are supposed to always extend a helping hand I now fear them and always wonder do others really like me or will they do me bodily harm and I have been like this for years but it is worse after those men drugged me in two thousand seven and I was ashamed it happened to me and blamed myself for even being there when I was simply looking for an outlet because the next day was my deceased sons birthday...

Not to mention the time I was thirteen walking to the store with my two cousins and a man came along and turned around and pulled along side us and pointed a gun at us and I jumped the fence and crawled on my knees until I saw they both were over the fence then I ran like hell and he turned around and went to the dirt road and waited and my cousin heard his car and she said turn around and we ran thru cows down a riverine and up the other side and ran some more and all I wanted to do was make it to the big yellow house that is no longer there nor is the house my grandparents lived in and where we were walking from...

We ran some more until my cousin Gwen passed out and her sister Debbie held her and she tried to make me go on ahead and get that man and I was scared and said no what if he up there and while argued back and forth she blamed me for us being there and I still want go and then someone we know passed by and got help and we ended up back at my grandparents and I have blamed myself for years and I now know it was not my fault.

It was his fault and people like him live in fear of being attacked instead of being protected by those who are like us, we are the only species doing this sad sadistic shit and this shit has got to stop, we need to trace all possible roots that lead to this way of thinking...

It is not ok to be a killer, it is ok to defend yourself with all your breath to the bitter end, it is a complete coward that takes away your defense and all at that, it’s hard to defend against a bullet or a bomb and we need to stop blaming people for what was done and not what was just did and let the healing for slavery began and history need to be taught at home and not a requirement and in books like the first book written in dedication of this shit and all the senseless killing that have occurred over the years when all I rights were taken away.

Many live delusional in the belief that the earth is man made. What’s beyond life I don’t know and get sick and tired of fantasizing about the death of me on a daily basis I have let so much happiness outside pass me by because not all people are bad and many I have met since moving away from Monticello have greeted me with a smile and a open and warm conversation...