Freedom

 Freedom to say just what is on my mind...power to think about it before I say it. If you wrong me with words or actions power to handle it right then and there.

Power not to let shit build up like constipation in my mind. Power to address what I feel is wrong. To many time I have let shit slide to keep a job or maintain a relationship. Power not to be the weakest link. I have quit so many times because I was afraid of failing. I failed me each time I quit.

I’m supposed to be protected under one of them amendments but it don’t work fairly, power to still exercise who I am, I have that right. If a citation makes you feel uncomfortable say so. I’m trying hard to do that and still secure a job. I feel I have discriminated against by people of different shades so many times. I’m still human and if I don’t give you reason don’t disrespect me, wait and see if I give you reason then handle your business. 

Allow people freedom of speech, don’t work hard to prove their point. Don’t verbally attack them without even knowing what they are capable of...

Insecurity

 Because of life and others I have so many making it hard for me to lay down and sleep. It’s hard for me to feel comfortable or a sense of security during the day and at night.

It’s hard for me to go to sleep but sleep is my only escape. Shortly after I wake the sense of insecurities show their ugly face. Accepting death knowing I’m gone die is one of my greatest feats thus far. I know death coming and I live dreading it each and every day. When I believed in heaven I had a sense of security. Loosing faith in heaven damaged me and the fear of death overshadows me like a plague.

I wish something in me could believe in a better place than this but I don’t. And after reading about god and who he is I don’t think I wanna go to heaven. I rather dance on the flames of hell like a ballerina. 

I pray hard to overcome that which over shadows me even though I’m not ready for death it will one day come for me whether I’m ready or not.

If I wake tomorrow or later tonight I don’t want the thought of death to bother me. I just want to enjoy the moment.

Trying to know me

I’m looking for a long term relationship, I’m divorced, a mother/grand. 

I’m not a pic person, and not because of my thickness, I’m phat, so what...

I do have an attitude to go along with my thickness, but I try and and have the right attitude, and keep a positive attitude but a real bitch live deep in the shadows of my mind, how you treat me determines how I treat you so I try to take time to know you and you know me, we all have pet peeves...

Certain qualities, like weed smoker but not cigarettes, like children but not sexually, no pork, beef, or other land animals,  fish yes, vegan even better.

Know how to correct without criticism or name calling and not belittling in front of others, especially their friends. And some more stuff.

I want things in common, I like fishing, I want a man who want a garden and know how to cook and clean and do his own dirty laundry and fix his own plate and some more stuff.

I want someone who will accept me as I am and like my personality and character and will listen to me and answer a man that want leave me stranded with no way home. And some more stuff.

Their cut

 Was Andrew Jackson the founder of the Demon-critic party a slave owner and did he remove the native Americans from their rightful place in these lands...

I don’t understand the difference between those who are ruling the people, we still their slaves, Democratic, Republican, Liberals, they only want to use us to make them money...

Help me understand or overcome my reluctance to continue to vote for those I feel are nothing more than white supremacy blinging is with words.

I was so excited when I was old enough to vote, but soon realized it does not matter who in office my life is still the same. If I don’t pay taxes they use all their mobs and mafias to take what is mine. I work for it and resent the fact they get their cut before I get my money that I worked hard just to get. The few dollars that I make have to be shared with people who don’t give a flying fuck about me as long as they get their cut...

I’m tired of being a slave

 I’m tired of living under the rule of the Mob/government, Mafia/government, untouchables/government all the same. Its just the government is much bigger and far worse...mob, mafia neighborhoods were terrorized, government the whole world is being terrorized 

I’m tired of being a slave to people who run a corrupt system that could careless about you or your family if you not part of their family...

Create chaos and then tell you how much it will cost you to save you from the chaos I created, and if you don’t give the government what they want they will take it...

It started in the Bible days and is called white supremacy and is still the driving force that makes life difficult around the world today...