Freedom to roar

When I can no longer hold in all my grief pain frustration and suffering, allow me the space to scream and cry. Don’t judge me and call me crazy. If I only scream and cry and ask why, and I have hurt no on, but I’m hurting inside, please let me scream and cry and run up and down the isle and openly express what I can’t articulate in words. When I was in the church, I really wanted to please this one called god. But god let me down and you can’t explain it away, at least not for me, remember our relationship is personal, it is not your business what I have asked of him, this one you seem to know all so well. I can’t seem to validate him so I choose to be done. 

A church I went to allowed me to really vent. To roar like the lion, to stomp my feet and let it all out side of me. I can now breath, I been holding my breath because of stress and anxiety. I been going thru life not really living. And now you tell me you want judge me, you want throw my past in my face and as soon as you open up your magic book that’s supposed to make all my hurt and pain go away and give me a better way of life, you are condemning me from a book in the name of god, for the way I have lived, if it’s done, let it be done don’t bring it up no more.  I killed no one, what life was taken, we all should rejoice if a new child is born, forget the circumstances, there are so few of us. 

God killed so many of our ancestors in the name of love!!!! What is this thing we call love?????? What is it????     

 I don’t know what to believe. I only know what I have lived and soon I began to see your god as part of the problems, fabricated to hide the identity of the one who told IT. 

We constantly bicker for someone who is not here just to use his name to have our way.  Back in the day, if you wanted to get away with a crime, say I did it for god. Say god told me to do it and if you were white you walked, if you were black, you may have been framed then hanged. Today is different, most medical professionals know god is in your head, and the crime is in your heart, delusional. In other words you on your own or your way to a mental jail for the criminally insane because they know if god really did exist he is now dead and gone, kinda like that Jim Jones man. But the name of god is still used today because there are so many followers who really believe without a doubt god is real with not one piece of evidence to support their theory other than a book written by a king who was looking for others to support his way of life, kinda like the president thing or government. We are looking for those who are willing to kill in the name of god for a little piece of money. God made promises to people and because many even today want that seat right of the throne. God, throne, king throne and we still want believe he was just a natural man.

Many stand up for the name god and not the man, many kill in the name of god without his presence even being required, because killing is the only thing for god and the only thing he seemed to respect. Many lie and say god told them to do it so they could get away with a crime, judge in on it because it was part of a brotherhood like the KKK,  but hell we allow it because we afraid. We really know it’s all a brotherhood of white allegiance to remain pure and enslave the rest of the population. 

All great things will come to an end. No matter how many years we torment others in the name of a god who no longer lives, this too one day shall pass. Those enslaved shall be free