How long can you sit

 I’m 54 and some change and realize I can’t sit still for long and my mind always wondering and I lose track easily and what I remember mostly is trauma...

I try hard to stay focused but it’s challenging, sort of like cutting back on alcohol and weed and chewing tobacco, the era where it was more acceptable and a lot less knowledge of how addictive it is and how it is used to manipulate mankind, alcohol and drugs.

My mind started to wonder but I succeeded at remembering not to stray away from all the distractions in my day to day life so I can’t focus more and not be such a scatter brain and hate being in the same place for to long other than my comfort zone, home. Dear sweet earth thank you for one. The earth is my home to but slavery and wars and persecution has taken away all that really is holy and pointed it into a direction that many abuse. Power to the people, freedom from persecution of those with malice intentions

 These are a few of the reasons I can’t remain focused on peace and serenity because of so much affliction. No acceptance of others in your surroundings, they not bothering you, constant killing, not just robbing but killing as well, knowing damn well you going to jail, who the hell you think you are the police.

Police, teachers of violence, I saw the Rodney King beating, I still can’t watch the George Floyd execution. Breonna Taylor, shot thru her window as she lay in her own muther fucking bed, just to name those who stand out most in 2020. An interesting year, or is it just the norm, how many people die each year in the USA. BRB...

https://www.prb.org/usdata/ says 2,839,205 deaths in United States in 2018. 

The total number of deaths in the United States increased from 2.4 million in 2009 to 2.8 million in 2018. An increase in deaths can indicate an aging population and/or an underlying public health issue. According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the three leading causes of death in 2018 were heart disease, cancer, and accidents, such as motor vehicle accidents and accidental poisonings (drug overdose). Cited from prob.org

I'm having some trouble finding the count for 2019 and 2020, BRB, ok so I'm under the influence and don't feel like looking to long, but I did find some great comments in at the end of the article written, link below.

https://www.clickondetroit.com/health/2020/10/20/cdc-from-january-to-october-us-had-299k-more-deaths-than-in-previous-years/

Once again, I lost focus, my mind wanders some terrible and there is never any quietness until everyone is asleep. I'm excited and reluctant to my own place but at this moment in life I feel it is needed.