The good owned people

 The good ones, see no evil hear no evil and you better not speak any evil. Tell nothing there will be nothing for you to worry about.

Keep your head down and move to the side, get out of my way when you see me coming. Many of us still suffer with that syndrome today. Some walk past as if you not there, women hold more doors than men, she also holds a lot of hands.

Women, women, woman don’t you hear me talking to you, you little gyp ass bitch, you ain’t going to amount to nothing you little whore. Now after about right here, I don’t remember what else she was saying, I do remember shut the hell up and get your lil ugly ass outside, if a man ever want you he has to be crazy. But you could not fuck with me like that. I brought you into this world and I will take you out. 

When will the healing began, we continue to walk with our head down all while holding others up. It’s time for us all to stand tall and walk. Walk with pride no matter the count of your pack. Packs are smaller because we can’t get along, our own children have to leave away from us or in my case can’t wait to leave the verbal and physical abuse and emotional, I’m praying hard to renew my spirit and my mind that I’m no longer hurt because of the past. Power to walk out of it and into something new with each day I’m given. Power to walk in faith that if I get up and go I will and can keep going. Power to run from the d word. And no not dick, I’m looking for the one who want to try and embark on an adventure into all the tomorrows we can pull from the hat of life. All them other D’s like dizziness, think I’m gone die. Depresion, I’m about to die. Diarrhea, oh I’m about to Die. If I faint not in my youth, shall the latter years offer more laughter and just the amount of rain and food and shelter, the same as you have been providing, strength by strength we go on, the strength from others may be few and far, but they do exist, so we have to keep going so we can help other to go on along. If we were meant to be we would not be here, big ups to my Mother, my moms for sparing my life before my creation. To my sperm donor I do understand the circumstances of you not being a part of my life and thanks for sparing my life, you validated me when you came to my job to meet me and introduce yourself to me and give me a phone number where I could reach out to you. Thank you for sending me the money I needed to get the transmission fixed in my van when I lived in Texas. I could not believe you did that, I was so afraid to ask you for the money, thanks for showing me love, thanks for three sisters I don’t have in my life, but I know they are there and don’t really want to get to know me at all, I’m ok, but not ok with that, I need balance there. My Daddy, my Father, my Pops, my Charlie, when I saw him coming it was on and popping, I was going to start running towards him yelling daddy, daddy. He would reach out and I would jump, soon I was to big to jump. My dad would often say to those who challenge what a dad is, my name on her birth certificate. That make me her my child. He never beat me not once, he never cussed at me but would say come on baby gal, calyn gal come on. I love and miss you and my mom. Thank you for the balance.