The coolness of a man can bring down the temperature of an overheated woman

And the hotness of her pussy can heat up the cold dick of a man. That thang, hanging there just swanging, just sitting there catching all the cold air chilling him to the bones, because it just hanging there with nothing but his hands to help keep it warm when he out in public and we offended because he should not touch that thing or else he must want to fuck, maybe it's just cold and he need the warmth of his hand to help keep it from freezing off.

When the heat from the Sun got so hot it exploded, it was Kool that cooled her off, Sun straight up X chromosome. All the estrogen we have to deal with comes from her. We can get so hot in bed the covers have to come off, we can get so frustrated with something, we will yell and be ready to fight. Will argue with a man, hit him and tell him how much we hate him and might wish his ass dead and don't even remember why we were mad in the first place. But will turn around and try hard to fuck his brains out of his head and he the same thing. Why is fucking supposed to fix it all. But, we need to be more than fucked, I can't speak for anyone but myself and I happen to know I need to be caressed and rubbed down with some fucking alcohol sometimes to help cool me off and listened to and taken serious and respected and a whole lot more shit. 

And here he is, can barely perform anymore let alone give some testerone to a woman who need something to help cool her hot ass off, and he even got a fucking problem with BOB and don't want to go to the doctor and this muther fuckers got the nerve to be cheating. So she remains pissed and gets ever hotter because her ole man might can't even get it up a lil bit and want try nothing at all to help cool her off, want even kiss the pussy, he so hard to deal with and blames her because he can't get a hard and she says you should not have been giving all the cock away, the rooster is all gone and he still want even see a doctor to help inflate his dick up at the area where the condom fit around it cutting off the blood flow, but his old cheap ass ashamed to say I can't get a hard and did I mention he want go down but looking for a blow job every day.  

Niggas want even give bitches a hall pass, because they think they own your ass even though you coming home to his can't fuck no more ass, he just want you to suffer to. He just don't get it, he can't keep up, he need help with more than putting his got damn shoes on and he want me to suffer even after I sucked his spaghetti for damn near an hour and he still didn't say thank you. And now there is nothing for me, after all the pussies I have fucking forgiven and you say I better not cheat. Women are suffering like that just to please a man. 

The more Kool rubbed Sun, the hotter she got, melting away his ice and the waters began to run all around her and all she was and all her build up and she got hotter and hotter and hotter and hotter, so damn hot, melted most all of him away, and then she let go without thinking, not knowing what was happening and why does this coldness feel so good to the hotness of my body and BANG, all you see and so much you can't see. And with no eyes, she looked for kool and Kool was gone and she can no longer feel him. With no eyes Kool can see her feel her and listen to her as she calls to him and he answers, and says I hear you my dear Sun, I can even feel you, I can gaze upon your beauty for always, but I can no longer be near you, only in your death. And because of this Kool became Cold and bitter and they lone to be together but know it will never be possible....

Nappy roots

 Why is one hair tangled and another one nappy when they both mean the same thing. Now texture of the hair is something else. I love the difference I see in hair. I can’t believe we still talking about hair and not equality because of the texture of my hair, haters gone hate. You can let them use who you naturally are to bring you down if you want. I’m still trying hard to find my way out of Catholic believe and christanity. I may not belong to your tribe but my tribe was great regardless of the culture nor the color. 

Many have refused to mix with people based on color and not character, I didn’t write it but please read the King James bible, many were scorned and killed all because they refused to bow down before a man who labeled himself as god. What you define as a god is left up to you, but the hatred he had for others was sick and twisted and yet we still begging to be accepted when we want even accept each other and now we have become killers of each other and so perverted we will kidnap children and sell them to the highest bidder. 

Power dear sweet earth to love and help other inspite of how I feel, power not to allow others to change my outlook on life l. I may be jealous and envious but power to want your head in a platter. Power over the urge to want to kill. Watch over others safely that they too will survive. Watch over their most prized possession as you watch over mine while others will kidnap them and sell them as a slave to another. Mother I beg and plead with you, bring them out into the open, bring them dark hearted people out and expose them, what’s done in darkness shall soon come to the light, the bible was filled with nothing but darkness and hatred and evil things done towards others. Many walk in that same darkness each day while worshiping a man who was more than evil....

What in the hell is spectacular

 If spectacular is based on another’s belief you will never find it and will always find yourself looking for something better...

Negative gets more rewards

I often times see Charles Manson and wonder why has this man had so much publicity throughout his life time and even in his death. People magazine kept him in the like light. Because of the dark nature of his life and times I was afraid to ask them why they focused on him so much, I don't know what their agenda was, for all I know they may have a dark side they use to write about people who are murders and I don't want them lurking around where I live so I kept my opinion to myself. Darkness has made far more money than light. The bible is full of darkness but has more followers than any one book on this planet. And the followers of this cult will kill you because they think God will give them a seat to his right hand on his throne, nothing can convince them otherwise. This is the forces we have to deal with on a daily basis. People who think they are doing the work of the lord when they go to war against innocent people who have done nothing other than were born. And because of where they were born they have become victims of the followers of christianity and catholic beliefs. 

Why is Rome the oldest city not overthrow nor ruined by the spoils of war. I will be glad when an awakening happens and people realize they are just being used to keep the dark ones in power....

Censor

Why soon as muther fuckers accept the word niggas, somebody wanna censor it. Dr King never argued a word, but the lack of equality in this thing called life, if you not a nigga, regardless of your fucking color, you my dear are not part of the struggle, you the fucking reason my rent more than I can afford...?

I'm baffled

Why come every species on this here planet can stay close to their baby, all but the woman. She can get caps to pay for daycare for her two week old child but no help to raiser her baby. The apes get more help then the woman, I'm muther fucking baffled. Want someone help me understand why she can't raise her own baby. Oh no, it's that wicked bitch inflation....she the whore of the streets, she the whore of Babylon, tricking in these streets. 

Why we don't remember the lives of all

Why we don't remember the Native American people, why we don't remember the long migrations many took on foot looking for freedom and the Native American welcomed them with open arms. But in all we remember we stillmseem to forget about them....

I feel like a failure

I'm a failure to myself, I quit school inn the eighth grade not because I was pregnant but because I hated school. I did go back to get my GED later on so I could find work. I quit job after job because they were not the right feel for me, or simply put I did not like them. I have cleaned, babysat, restaurants, convence stores, cafeteria, hospitals, nursing homes, home health, doctors office. Of all the jobs I have worked on in my life, I fell in love with the doctors off, but it didn't work out. I went back to school trying hard to get my LPN license, didn't work out. Why me I ask on numerous occasions, I finally find something I really love and it all falls apart, not my doing. If I had my way I would still be working at family practice of Monticello or Dr Lynn and Dr Koshy, but it didn't work out for me, and I tell myself it's because I'm a complete failure. 

I have damn near had to get on my knees and beg people just to give me a fucking job only to quit because I really didn't like it. Or that may have not been the case. I have found jobs over and over again and didn't really like them, but there was something special about working in the medical field. I really did love working there and helping others as much as I could, I felt like I was making a positive difference in the life of another. But maybe it was just me and it was not meant for me, because so many people are still in that field, maybe it was really me who was only thinking I made a difference and that was not really the case. Maybe I was horrible at it and horrible to others the reason Lisa B let me go from Dr Lynn office. I really thought I was trying hard to do my best. She called me to her office and she let me go with no real reason other than work was slow which was a lie. In my mind I was trying hard to do my best, be punctual and show respect, but I lost that job to. I ask myself over and over what did I do wrong that time. There have been other jobs I have worked on that I did like, but like is an understatement when I say how much working in the doctors office meant to me. 

I'm fifty four and I feel burnt out, like I can barely make it into another day. I don't want to leave home, I don't like talking to others that much, I just want to sit alone and do no more than I want to. I'm hoping to soon pull myself up by the ears and find a new passion because I can't afford to much of nothing let alone school. I would like to get my medical assistant license but I don't even have the mind and I can't even stay focused these days because I feel so burned out from life and all of the events I have lived thru from August 27th to this present time where I sit and type this to myself hoping and praying I can find a passion that fits me.

Got damn some of a bitch, now my eyes burning and nose running because of the fucking tears. Stop crying bitch, it's my own got damn fault I'm a failure. I don't wanna be around others, people make me feel uncomfortable, I feel they judge me just as much as I judge them. I'm constantly afraid I will say the wrong thing and hurt someone feelings or piss them off. If I were to be honest with others as brutally as I am with myself I may get a bullet to the temple. So I may as well keep to myself and not risk turning a otherwise good person into a killer. I can be a bit to judgemental, we all got an opinion about others which is why we falling over shit left in the floor, under the rug, in the closet, under the mattress. I'm trying hard to make me my own focus point these day. Christianity taught me to condemn others for simply living. Removing those ways from my data bank is not easy, we all have ways that are not accepted by everyone. As long as no one was brutally attacked because of their opinion and slaughtered with hands behind back, hands up don't shoot, knee to the neck, bag over head, selling drugs or water bottles. All acceptable slaughters of others based on ones believe that their life is more important than another's because of color of skin of the color of the uniform they were wearing at the time the knee was placed on the neck for almost ten minutes. Not to mention the ones who were slaughtered while in the privacy of their own home some even in bed, slaughtered by someone and has been acceptable by the standards of the bible for decades. People converted to Christianity trying hard to be accepted only to be hanged in trees based on the color of their skin. The bible has so many killings I wonder why people are so blinded by the real contents of the bible all while professing love. I can't see love in the scriptures of the bible, only hatred, murder, white supremacists, slaughters and genocides and raping of minds and taking the virgins so they can treat them worse than the animals. 

I can only imagine what Moses and his army of men must have done to those young girls after killing everyone else. Drunken soldiers with the freedom to rape and torture them anyway they saw fit and we still worship this crap like a demonic cult, mad because it is no longer accepted in the schools. I'm glad that history book is banned from school, I want be the one to tell anyone who they should worship, but don't tell me who I have to worship. The underworld, the dark ages still the driving forces used to bring down nations and to devide families.

Covid caught up to me

I been under isolation since February 24th because I tested positive for Rona virus. When the doctor told me I was positive I was in disbelief at first, kinda like no, but I have been home and wearing a mask when I go out and washing my hands so much my cuticles are splitting and raw. I sat there feeling blank and then I said Dr Makori I was sure it would be negative and she said so did I. She told me not to bother about checking out just leave and bypass the check out counter. I took the stairs trying to keep my composure because I was already nervous and fearing the possible worse, I always do. 

The ride home seemed extra long, long enough for my mind to play with me, I started panicking as I drove home, so I pulled over in the driveway of a church and texted my family to let them know I was having an attack. I had already texted them to let them know I was positive. They had all been here the day before because someone had broken open my door and left it open. I'm thinking maybe they walked in on Roscoe and he want having it. I hate to point fingers but something in my spirit tells me it was my over friendly neighbor who made his way there as soon as he saw Bridgette pulling up. Coco pulled up with me and noticed the open door as well. He then came out to his front porch and started talking across here to them. They here a lot and he don't usually come over trying to talk. On his way out of the yard he says to me, so Ms Carol are you having a good day or a bad day. And I said, my days are always good, I'm not gone allow anyone to steal my joy and he walked off and I never mentioned to him my house was broken into. 

My neighbor came by to and she was here, but when I told her I tested positive for covid she down played it as if she was not concerned with catching it even though she to was here the day before. I have asked her on numerous occasions did she have it and she said no, but she was sick a while back, congested and coughing for a while. If she had it and crossed her fingers and lied and came around me and my grandchildren knowingly that's on her. She told me her pastor had the virus and was at church and kept it from the congregation, she says she heard it thru the grapevine he was positive. My other neighbor tested positive and I was around him, he was honest about having it and made sure he let me know what was going on, if you have the virus be honest and let people decide if they wanna expose their selves to it,don't make life altering decisions for others with your fingers crossed. Do crossing the fingers cancel the lie, because if I find out she lied to me and knowing close me to the virus and then hide it, well she want be getting an invite to breakfast with me and my grandchildren anymore. That delete any trust I have for a person ho would knowing expose me to such a horrible virus. 

My nerves have been rattled since I found out I have the virus, I know I'm have to die one day, and there is nothing I can do to run from death forever, but I try hard not to allow death to rule me because one day death will win and will consume me and I want be here anymore. But what can I do in the mean time to stop drinking from the well of fear and doubt with so much going on around me. I pray about it on a daily basis for power to overcome my fears and not to allow them to overwhelm me, but it's not easy. 

I was having hot and cold chills and my headached all over along with my neck and shoulders and back, I was thinking it was because I'm have not had any of my sinus meds so I called CVS to see if I could get a refill, can I get a refill, can I get a reeee, reeee, reeeefill but was told I had no more refills and they would reach out to my doctor. Next day nothing, so I called the office and was told I had to come in to see the doctor because it had been a while since I had been in to see her and I told them I had been exposed to the virus and bam, I tested positive, damn. 

Now I no longer worry about catching it, just will I survive it. I get tired and wore out real easy. I give out of breath quickly and my chest and throat feel scratchy and I'm congested and coughing up mucus. And trying hard not to worry about dying from covid-19. But just in case I do. Life has been a bit of a challenge to me, I have felt love from few and hate from many. I have what I call fake friends who I feel don't really like me as much as I like them. But I can't say how someone else loves, it's like the love of God that we constantly hear about but I'm yet to read any love he showed towards others in the bible, those are the kind of friends I seem to have, and because they are christian I can understand why they are blinded by fabrications of love and express hate without saying a word.

I know I'm not a prize to have, but if I don't like you, imma keep my distance. Many people stay close for various reasons with someone that they really don't like. I remember this woman from my hometown who was always at this particular womans house, exercising with her and her family, everyday she was at her house, leaving her husband and children and spending time with them. The woman got pregnant by this womans husband and the wife packed up and took her children and left, it was not long before this woman left her husband and children and moved into her friend's house. Everyone that smiles in your face is not your friend, she lucky the bitch didn't Rebecca her. I know y'all know Rebecca of the bible. Boy oh boy the things we allow into our lives, the culture of the bible is to much for me, I see nothing but mass murder and hatred and evil kinda like I was in a cult. It is frightening to think of what others are capable of doing, I rather know you don't like me than to have you hanging around me with ill will towards me. It's cool if you don't like me, I rather know so I can decide if I wish to be in the company of a person who don't really have my back.