Still growin but yet to learn

I blame those who hate me for hating me because of the color of my skin and not something I may have done or said…

You know the context of my character and personality and how rough I can be around the edges. I have learned it from others. Others have not shown me any tact when speaking to me, they come straight at ya and hard. I don’t like the way that feel, but if it’s the truth oh well. I try not to be to straight forward so I want piss anyone off. I try hard to chose my words more carefully while still acknowledging my point. I will shout with you but I don’t like to do it. 

I know that’s not the case for everyone I meet but it has been the case for a whole of other. And I have been a hand full, thinking I knew it all and I know nothing. 

What the hell just happened

 Have you ever had a fuck so bad you was convinced it would be the only one and they remained at the top of you list for so long you forgot about that incident…

And then someone comes along and breakers that record…

“Head shaking” because this has been that persons main objective is to have sex with me. Oh please and don’t forget the teeth…om gosh, the teeth, I hope they did not leave a scar, why can’t I accept all men can’t fuck and don’t have big packages to go along with their ego, is this why he was so fussy, so glad I had the nothing more than friend talk before the sexual encounter, don’t want to go through that anymore no time soon not unless I’m getting paid.  

Sleepy but can’t go, don’t feel satisfied because I’m shallow but I want to be honest with me, I was not attracted to this person anyways but I’m so shallow I know many times sex will close the deal and will bring two people closer together.  But it didn’t work for me, I want a total package for me.

Eat similar to me, have a lot of things in common, this is not the case for this person, I told him I just wanted to be friends, but I crossed the line because I want someone special in my life, I just don’t think it is him, I’m not turned on by his mind, his intellect nor sex with him, I was hoping sex would help the way I feel about him, but that was not the case, but I do like him as a friend and not someone I want to become one with again…

Why do I feel dirty down there????