Bridgette cooked some grits this morning and they were a bit stiff for my taste so what I did was quietly twirk them grits and then they were perfect. Sometimes we are so harsh with what we want we don't realize how our words and actions affect others. I could have said something real nasty or called them nasty but that may have deterred her from ever cooking grits for me again. I want to be the wind beneath my children wings not the storm that knocks them down.
I think I was in the fifth or sixth grade or maybe the fourth I don't remember the exact grade but I remember where we lived, we live beside the water works. We moved around so much the only place I felt connected to was at my grandparents. I felt safe there and loved when we had to live there in between houses.
At any rate mama was working in Madison at Wellington and I usually beat her home from school, I'm not sure if Charles stayed after school that day and walked home but he was not there and my plans were to cook supper so when mama got home from work all she would have to do is eat and go to bed, she was never home before six and she was always so tired and wore down I just wanted her to eat and rest. So I cooked some black eye peas, my favorite as long as they are not filled with fat meat or any meat for that matter, however I will add a lil butter or cooking oil, black eye peas don't need any help just cooking, well maybe a lil salt and butter. And I fried some fatback and made some biscuits. Maybe I should have added some meat for her, but I wanted to eat some to so I left out the meat and added a little margarine like my grandma did hers and her were great.
The real challenge for me was cooking that fatback and not running away yelling help, the grease was like a monster shooting hot darts into my skin. I learned the power of fat meat that day. After I boiled away the salt I poured away that water and put my pan back on the stove. Look I'm not sure how hot the pan was but when I tossed in all that fat wet meat the sizzle and the popping started immediately, grease was popping everywhere. When the grease popped onto the red eye of the stove lil flames would fly up and I didn't know what to do so I turned off attempted to turn off the stove and grease bombs were popping everywhere and he white smoke soon turned into terror. I leaned in reaching for that knob on the very back of the stove, but the grease bombs were like running through a fire. Although running through a fire may have been a bit better than that hot popping grease on the big stove eye turned on high, mama always say turn it down. That hot grease was jabbing at me like Muhammad Ali, Laila Ali, Joe Frazier, Floyd Mayweather Jr, Manny Pacquiao, Sugar Ray Robinson, Joe Louis, Oscar DeLa Hoya, Evander Holyfield, Mike Tyson, Leon Slinks, Sugar Ray Leonard, Rocky Marciano, Larry Holmes, and Michael Spinks all at once, jabbing my arms and chest and face and I can't see them because of this smoke they bring when they come, MAMA what would Alma do, grab her a rag and turn the stove down and I found a towel and covered my arm and the bottom side was open for the jabs so I went to the side towards the back reaching over the back eye and manages to cut the stove off, just a few light jabs to my face and chest arm was all good. Boy was I ate up in small blisters and they burned to and it was succes the hot grease calmed down but I still didn't have time to rub my wounds I had to ring back into this match with before I burn this meat up and I don't want that to happen.
The popping finally calmed down enough for me to reach into the pan but the volcano was not even bubbling, the lava was cold, I looked behind this monster and realized I turned the stove down to low and nothing was happening so where should I put it so it want get so hot it will want to fight. I eased the knob up a little bit at the time and suddenly there was a pop, they got me in the eye. Now my eye was burning and hurting so I decided the stove was to high so I eased back to the side of the stove holding up the cloth in front of me trying to block the fighters from jabbing me and reached and turned the eye back down and now I need to turn this meat over, it was a little bit dark on those pieces in the very middle and all curled up, I had the hardest time flipping this fatback and making it lay down and not curl up, the longer it cooked the easier it was to flip over and the more it straightened out but everytime I flip it, it gets mad and wanna start jabbing at me, I just want to cook you and I don't want you to burn up. I reached for the stove to adjust the heat, jab, I jumped back a bit and ducked as if I could fade that jab away, by now I smell my biscuits so I take a peek inside the oven. Oh my gosh, why are they so flat, not like mama's at all.
Suddenly there was a jab and I slammed the oven door a bit to hard and jumped back but the meat looked like it may be done, I'm not even sure but I was done with it, it was brown on both sides, one side a lot darker than the other and judging by the amount of grease in the pan there was none left in the fatback, it was one of her favorite meals. These small little pops that seem to know each time I'm reaching towards the stove kept on jabbing at me so decided the meat was ready so I took it off the stove one piece at the time, there was a jab so I jumped back and waited and the popping soon stopped so I walked slowly towards the stove and whew no more popping I reached towards the pan slowly and jab. Removing all that fatback from the pan seemed like an eternity but now it was finally out of the pan. I wondered how mama put up with this every time she cook fat meat and she cooked it a lot, in fact she said pork was her favorite.
Once the biscuits were golden brown on top I assumed the were peas done as well after all they had that nice brown gravy that is oh so delicious. I felt proud of my accomplishment in the kitchen that day, now the wait. I cleaned up the kitchen which by the way not easy because grease was everywhere and then I went outside eagerly awaiting my aunts car to pull in the yard and my mama stepping out and walking towards the house and coming inside to a nice warm meal.
When the car finally pulled up Charles had made it home by now and we were outside playing either in the woods beside and behind the house or behind the Jaycee building which is in front of the house where the white folks pool was. By now I'm in full excitement mode so I ran towards the car glad mama was finally home. Mama and dad were off again and I never knew where he was staying when they were off again. But she would be pleased with me this evening I mean come on I did cook a whole meal and cleaned up behind myself. My aunt said hi to me and something else I just can't remember what it was, she would always tell me she love me but she would make me feel bad with some of the things she would say to me and she always belittled me but would say I love you. Love not supposed to make you feel bad about things you can't seem to control.
Okay, moving on mama got out the car and said okay , I will see y'all tomorrow and she walked towards the front porch and finally made it to the steps and walked up onto the porch and asked how was school and I said okay and she said you got any homework and I said I did it already. By now I can no longer take the excitement so I said I cooked dinner for you and she said oh yeah, what you cook and I said some peas and fatback and some biscuits and she said oh yeah is it any good and I said I don't know I didn't eat yet and she said let me wash my hands and go to the toilet and I will let you know as soon as I get back if it's fit to eat, and she did just that. I had plates and forks on the table and was seated and ready to eat when she made it back into the house.
Mama walked in and sat down to the table and looked at my biscuits and laughed. I mean a LOL and asked what did you put in theses biscuits they hard as a rock. I said eggs and sugar and she stopped me there and said you put sugar in biscuits, you don't put sugar and eggs in biscuits that's if you making a cake, I can knock somebody out with these hard ass things. Then she taste my peas and said these peas are hard as hell and needed to cook longer and you didn't cook this fatback long enough you need to go back to the drawing board. She then said let me finish cooking this mess.
I stopped listening and Charles fell out laughing I left the table feeling bad and lost my desire to cook let alone for my mama anymore...
