One thing I have found is dating now is no different than it was in my earlier years. A whole lot of horny men and me and a never ending supply of sex and no one who wants to date but willing to settle down or just plain ole settle.
Know this, I felt I would never find a man and if I did well let’s just say he ain’t wanted me, just looking to get laid. And because I wanted out of my mama’s house so badly, whoever said let’s, I was willing to go, and finally a Clyde wanna be came along and we both settled but he never settled down and when I look back I realize I stayed to long. My fears kept me there hanging on to someone who I really didn’t want.
Maybe I went about it the wrong way I repeat it in my head, wait, don’t, stop, get to know them first and the sex may be more rewarding. But, but, but, I look for a potential mate but no one wants to date all they wanna do is mate and I’m cold and so tired of the dating game and don’t know how to wait, dammit I just wanna give it up, but something inside me says hold on a little while longer, he out there and he can still get an erection, NO MEDS. And if he need a doctor he has one and don’t mind going. And the things we have in common are endless, but wait, do fairytales really come true, cause bitch you sound like a drunk bitch dreaming, I hear my mama screaming, bitch you ain’t shit, you ain’t gone ever be shit and you ain’t gone ever have shit and no man will want you unless he crazy ass hell like you, you lil jip bitch, I shoulda got rid of you when I had the chance, you ruined my life just by being here. But, thanks to you mom I feel well rounded, who gives a fuck what niggas say, how you treat me says it all, and yes mama words do affect, but I rise above all that and yes I will find my Clyde and yes he will be just right for me.
I’m at a age where I care more about a meaningful relationship than I do sex. Don’t get me wrong now I get that itch around nine in the evening or five in the morning and baby, Bob can’t get the job done. Well he can knock that itch all the way outta there, but I like affection to and I love tasting a mans skin while he sweats, and the aroma from his body turns me on and holding onto his waste while he does what men do and rubbing his head while he taste me, Bob can’t give me all that only my boo.
It’s cold all my children are grown and this big ole bed feels lonely many times, not even a sleep over in my bed, no sex with anyone in my bed for years, damn, not even a Clyde wanna be.
I stopped dating even wanting to years ago and decided I had nothing to offer modern day men and they had nothing for me, not even sex because I had children and at that time was completely done with men, not unless he was my Clyde, and I will know him when I meet him, that was all wishful thinking because I need to date a variety of men in order to know if he my Clyde, or just an imposter. Then I took some time to define me after some bad decisions that let me know I need to heal from all the trauma I had endured and my hands were already full and men can be more demanding than children when they want to be, but Clyde know better than that, I don’t want no spoiled ass man ackin like he two cause he can’t have his way with me, I don’t need a brat, I’m bratty enough.
Well, my children got they own thing going on and I need someone special just for me, my age I can do all kind of things with. Hopefully I can find me a companion, a mate, a BFF, someone to click with and have fun with, a friend I’m really into and hopefully he feels me and not just another Clyde wanna be.
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