Make them your friend before making them your lover

Boys are met along the pathway of a girl's life and they may both be traveling in the same direction. They may want to know more about each other and like traveling in the same direction together. And he likes her and she likes him and they kiss and nothing, they want real bad to be that couple who goes to The End of the Road. They both decide it did not feel good, but because they like each other they remain friends. The next person to come along may not think it's appropriate for the two of them to remain friends, my question is why not? They would be together if they really want to and they really don't like affection with the other person, it feels yucky now like kissing your brother. But they have a understanding for each other and a foundation that will always be there, they are great friends just going a different direction because they realize they don’t wanna be lovers just friends. Some are lovers and friends for fifty plus years they remain together, it may not be a fifty year stretch for me but I think it can happen, I think I can find my lover and friend if I don’t keep settling. 

I have not met that boyfriend just yet, I'm trying to learn boys better, trying to learn if we traveling in the same direction and enjoy each other company, stop talking so I can hear him, so I can listen to what he want and hear what he says to me and his kiss will spark a passion and not a yuck and never a lick up side my head, punching me like I’m a enemy of the streets.  My boyfriend, willing to give me a chance and to get to know me and decide if he likes me and I him and if we like traveling in the same direction, lots of things in common, enjoying the company of each other,  comfortable talking about things that are deep and meaningful. Considering each others feeling even during a heated debate. Having fun times and debatable times that are heated without losing respect for each other, no hitting, my mate my end of the road with me, if not lovers, friends. A constant friendship like one of my friend girl's and no he is not gay, stop stereotyping. 

Clyde, hopefully hes out there, he and I will have an all natural feel with that first kiss knowing we want to be together for more than just sex, the kiss seals the deal even if the sex not chandelier swinging great. A chemical reaction that is sweet and fulfilling, yummy, I love his smell his scent with no cologne or deodorant on after a fresh shower. The kiss was a turn on and not a turn off, oh no he's not the one, and sex made it worse no attraction at all, all passion and lover, ew yuck just went out the window, I don't even wanna go any further other than friends, nope, the sex made it worse, now it feel all awkward trying to avoid you. Bitch please press pass because it's better to live in honesty than in misery with someone you don't like being affectionate with. Have comfort knowing you tried and it's not because you don't love them, you don't love them like that, you love them like a cousin, yes kissing cousin, move past. Still friends though who really don't want to be together as lovers just friends like a sibling or a cousins, we were in the experiment phases trying to strengthen it, just didn't wanna be lovers. 

Many who are friends now may become lovers one day the kiss may be different and the spark is there. 

That one who takes times to walk the walk with me and not just talk the talk, don't wanna marry for convenience because I'm pregnant, my body my decision, if a woman has the right to terminate her pregnancy I have the same right to keep the baby and not be told they don't belong here, no they don't belong to you, they do belong here as do you. He will accept the fact I have children and grandchildren as I will accept his loved ones as well. 

My resume

 Education: Very Little to none/always ongoing

Sex: none at the moment, looking for a mate. 

Female

1966 - Present

Ongoing as a woman, forever learning and will never know everything but want to learn as many different things as possible. I want be fully matured until I’m dead, and my spirit will live on after that. I’m currently in a rut, I want to do something I like doing and feel comfortable doing it and just want to like it and not do it because I have to. I need it to be fun and fulfilling and learning many different things while teaching other type thing. I wanna be fair with others even killers while I’m here and tell as few lies as possible and don’t question who they are just take the time to respect others enough to take the time to learn them before I write them off and if yes show prejudice towards them if I am frightened by them. Be respectful with everyone I meet, I’m a stranger to, and don’t use color that’s not fair, but use your knowledge of who the sucker is, oh they wronged me and my loved ones type of thing. Not your color but your kind, not your hair, your shape your size just based on what I know about you. And I do have the power invested in me to decide if I will show prejudice towards you based on how horrible you were to me and my loved on. Is it discrimination if it’s the truth spoken against you? I don’t ever want to stand in your way and please dont block mine. Everyone deserves a second chance. Many travel the same way because we can get along. Many people will give anyone a chance no matter how many times they have been burned along the way, they remain fair. Can I show prejudice and still be fair to others. Are all killers bad people? Why did it happen, why did they kill, was it to protect their life and now I’m mad at you because you got the first shot off, what about shooting an unarmed person in the back while they running, how do I feel about people who enjoy killing, personally I don’t know any. Guns should not be allowed outside of your home not unless you are taking a safety class. Weak niggas still pull triggers, many elderly own one. I believe we should be allowed to protect our home. 

And I move forward, Jeremy it is almost 21 years

My latest reaching out to someone who may help me get answers.

 I enjoy the way you communicate with each other while you gossip. And how good you are at bringing the news and how you seem to care about each other and how y’all relationship look like a family. Work is supposed to be like that. I search and can’t find a place that will allow the talk of consumption of alcohol and y’all keep it moving and when y’all laugh together and bring the weather report I keep coming back. 

I would like to know if you select the story you bring or are they selected. If you select you own shows, would you do something important for me. Would you investigate the death of my son when he was eleven years old. Please, my email is mill8277@bellsouth.net

Please let me know if you can help me get answers to many questions not answered

Migration for many, get the fuck out the way

Still chasing people like they wild animals while overlooking how wild and horrible you are, trying so damn hard to keep people inferior still chasing slaves has got to stop. Read the memo, slavery stopped, stop bashing the rights of others for some money. Claiming land you don’t own, give it back and live and let live. Just Move get the hell outta the way. 

 

 Why I have to show ID to visit my family who you say is free, but they can’t have visitors without first asking you?

Are they incarcerated (ups, none of your business) keep moving ahead. Why do I need to show ID just for walking, and no this is not your country it is free, you run your house when you home, run your mouth all you want but in the streets quiet please, live and let live. I show my papers to the place I am trying to visit, if you not gone escort me get the hell outta my way…

Why do any get to block the freedom of pass. If I don’t bother, don’t bother me, all who say they free don’t know real freedom.

 Stop criminalizing me because I’m walking, or running from the bad people, bad husband, bad father/mother, I must run, I have no rights,  I was sold by my father and bought for a price by another, I can’t take it, once there I’m free. And everyone don’t know how to drive, many women are denied anything other than serving a man. There is a truck heading that way we can use to get to freedom, but the hired guns are everywhere ready to capture me and make me go back against my will, fucking slave chasers need to get a real fucking job and bring some food and water and lock masser the fuck up so he see how that slave shit feel, let him do his own dirty work, you gone be the one sitting in jail. 

 I can’t afford a car and can’t seem to find a ride that damn far, and please don’t have some children, you will be the one overlooked by everyone going that way but the real criminals. It is cheaper on foot, just a long walk, a few days and we will be there to see the doctor, help my family or take care of a sick loved one, why is it your got damn business where I’m going. Get outta my way. 

Look I’m already tired and hot from this long as walk, if you no have some water please don’t bother with the vinegar. 

Fucking up the Underground Railroad for many

Happy birthday Mother

 

Happy Birthday dear sweet Mother, you blessed me with your presence in my life. You are one of the reasons I’m here, thank you my dear Mother for loving me and your kindness.

Thank you for them hot biscuits that you taught me how to make, and thank you for standing up for me when I didn’t have the power to stand up for myself. Children everywhere need a woman like you in their life, a woman that is fair in the way she treat people and was loving towards us all that I was able to see and bare witness to. Dear sweet Earth please make more like her, let there be more like her, grandma’s lead the way. 

Happy birthday to you my dear sweet love, my flower.

You know I been trying to plant a garden you and Poggy always had time to try and teach me anything I asked, y’all were busy, but, would stop what you were doing and show me how to do and taught me how to work, how to gather and how to store. Power to get it back, to get back in the groove of planting and storing for myself, I know it’s in there somewhere, in this head of mine, but where did I put it, I’m always busy. 

Dreamed I passed myself one day walking, realized I need to slow down and enjoy what I have. 

Happy birthday to you my love, my flower, my dear sweet friend, I miss you you

Being fair as mom is tough

What I want for me I want for others, loving my children enough to tell them they are special to me but I want let you slide simply because I’m your mother and I will be harder on my own than others. I wanna respect others by telling them what I feel is right not just because I wanna be right but because I feel I’m right and that’s how I want to treat everyone with the same respect.

This is how I greeted my children this morning, I then wanted to share and elaborate on my feelings. I’m trying to be a different person and mature more mentally and have more zenful ways. 

Good morning my beautiful ones...

Have a great day, reach goals you have set. Set reminders for goals you wish to achieve, let's make a start to a stronger tomorrow. Build bridges for each other and always know how important you are without disrespecting each other. Love you no matter what at least that's one person who loves you. Treat others with the same respect and loyalty you want shown towards you. We are all gods and goddesses, kings and queens, prince, and princess, mother and father, uncle and aunts, one thing we all are is cousins.... 

And then I added a little bit more about cousins, all humans are indeed cousins, maybe not in the bloodline but it’s what we are, cousins, what if he or she never had any cousins, they still our cousins, the capabilities are still there even though it never happened, just because she never have children does not mean she is not a woman, she just never gave birth to children she can still be a mother by other means than a birth delivery. Make everyone you meet a cousin and always work hard to keep it that way, take Jack outta the city and make it a New one, a land of the living. Spread your wings and soar, move further away from people you will appreciate them more. Happy days cousins…

Good day my beautiful ones...

How can my life speak for me

Picture this, muther fukers rolling and smoking and laughing and rolling in the floor crying and shit like that all at the same damn time saying imma miss that bitch, and holding onto the coffin, please let me see if she really in there,. What I don’t want is for you to see me in my bedtime gear and my, PLEASE put a thirty six pack from Walmart bud light please and Winnie the Poo if he still around in my coffin. MY team of crusaders, I always want for them to grow in numbers, people who really do love me, they are my crusaders and I want to be theirs as well, until our bitter end for some and sweet for others. And them who tried to dig me back up. 

My goal is to have more true friends than enemies when I’m dead….

I want those who truly hate to see me depart this planet to be more in number than those who will be glad I’m gone. 

My crusaders, super hero type of shit, you know, it’s impossible for one person alone, that’s why we have so many teams, all the muther fukers who wanna put some shit back together, my kinda superhero kinda folks, who wanna see the grass grow and clean waters flow and no more sickness and safer cars and no more killing and no more fear and that place is in that bitch head is now what I hear and how can I make anything meaningful happen when I live in complete fear and any ambition is to be buried with me because it only lives in my head. 

Others shall say she was all talk, that bitch ain’t do shit to make that type of shit happen, she ain’t never care bout nobody but herself and now all of a sudden you want me to care for her really, if she really care she would be doing something to help herself and what she can do other than hide in her room running her mouth waiting on a better life to fall in her lap. But she died waiting, and you want me to pity her. Now go ahead and dig her up cause imma piss on her grave, when we get that thirty six pack.

Free home test kits starting Wednesday

 https://www.npr.org/2022/01/13/1072730868/biden-announces-plans-to-buy-500-million-more-covid-tests-and-to-offer-free-mask

http://www.covidtests.gov To order the test kits

Girls rock

          I hear so much equal rights here, as a woman I want to be treated like you would the man, don’t discriminate against me like I’m not capable to do the same thing as a man….

Women so fucking special, a man will cut off his joystick just to become one. Have you ever seen a boy child, no matter what, he will find his lil pisser in or out of the diaper and nothing will separate his lil hand from his lil pisser, piss everywhere, why want he leave it in the diaper, I don’t know maybe it need air, nothing can separate his lil hand from his pisser, other than food. And soon as they done eating and stand up, they will check to make sure it is still there, they will hold it while watching television at a young age and it appears to be acceptable to me, it’s theirs and they don’t always see sex, hell, it’s there like my ear, I like to tug at my ear sometimes, stop associating everything with sex. 

https://www.swimmingworldmagazine.com/news/olympian-erika-brown-we-cannot-allow-transgender-females-to-compete-against-biological-women/

Well now we have equal rights and we still wanna complain, should a man who is transgender be allowed to compete on the same level as a woman….it’s time to admit our ego has now gotten us in trouble and our ego is what makes us think we on y’all level, I ain’t tripping never, men rule, 

And because of the fact men rule, they need to stay in their own lane, race with other boys or why we can’t have transgender races, included with the races for girls boys and transgender at all the schools. Transgender don’t want to play the boys because they want to be identified as a girl but the birth certificate don’t lie and boys who are transgender should have their own sports as well, it’s not fair to the girls. 

Girls wanna rock, boys wanna rule….

My letter to other bigots

 I hope and pray if voter fraud happens it will be found out so we can move on.

What I would like to know is why do you support the actions of Jan. 6 why should no one be held accountable. And also why did they storm there, I don’t think bigotry had a lot to do with it. Then again I’m not sure because of some of the things I hear coming from people. If they stormed the castle was it because they hate people of color, and if people were happy at what happened to Mr George Perry Floyd Jr, please tell me why? 

I’m tired of living scared and hated because I was simply born me. That’s no reason to hate me. 

Why did they storm the castle like that, I know it was frightening to those who were there, my heart goes out to all of those who are involved, it causes so much trouble and worry and our parents worry because they don’t want to see war and many like me worry and try and be more humble and learn how to respect another’s opinion and live at peace with all those we come in contact with, follow after peace with all means, I want to live my life that way and not feel completely afraid to leave my home and go somewhere and visit family and friends, I’m afraid to leave home for fear I want ever make it back because of so many factors along the way that can take my life. Another person should be the last thing I worry will take my life. Healing, I pray healing, healing, healing to the mind and hearts of me and my kind, blessings and peace I pray you this day, puff puff pass or 🍻cheers we made it another day, let’s pull together to overcome all the troubled waters we see behind us and sail the waters that are crystal clear and warm to the touch and the sand is all warm and soft when my hands and feet touch it, I go there in my mind because I want ever travel to such a place on my own, but I can create me one in my backyard, I have the space, crystal clear warm water (jacuzzi, or kachuzzi, bless you, my son could not say jacuzzi and I can’t spell it without auto correct, stop correcting me, but it makes you better, to learn to read and write, I can do that to and don’t mind being called a monkey, they are intelligent and can get along with us humans and I guess anything that can get along with us is damn well smart as hell, because we can’t get along with each other based on the most ridiculous thing ever, color. ) 

Now back to my backyard and this jacuzzi and sand around my jacuzzi sitting there sipping on me a mixed drink and watching my outdoors projection set up and me filming myself while I bring it to life, and then a business helping others, a community center and transportation to all places where other humans live. And no more walls, just bridges and people working together helping people migrate safely like we do for the animals. 

It is the natural law of the land to migrate, there were natural pathways here and water here when I crash landed here in 1966, making me all natural citizen regardless, I have lived among aliens every since.  Laughter, again if you hate others based on color why, and why you think migration should stop, and should they have killed George Floyd and why? 

Sex when I’m ready

 Lots of young women have sex because they are afraid they want get a call back and many are thrown into that situation because of money

Next time I have sex with someone, I want to really want to become one with them. 

Dead is dead

 Dead is dead, you can stand over them and sprinkle them with some voodoo dust and pray all day they ain’t coming back and if they do come back after you sprinkle them with some dust they want really dead in the first place, you just been had, so to say, you know, a fuck you without removing the clothes. 

I’m tired of hearing how just the sight of a black man struck so much fear I had to pull my weapon and end his life here. 

I’m so simple minded

I’m sad because I ponder the things I don’t have and never indulge in the things that are set before me…. 

I’m my own worse enemy yet I’m my own greatest ally 

Weak niggas still pulling triggers

 Why you can’t understand is because you are Alice and in wonderland. And because you live a fantasy life you want ever understand the fight. 

I still believe weak niggas pull triggers…. 

You constantly point fingers in places you don’t ever visit. I feel the same way as you do about blacks killing. Then I look at how masser treated others or shall I say trained us to hate and think very little of others,  I try hard not to make it about color, but a kind. Like I said weak niggas pull triggers. And when a gun is used by law enforcement we the people look towards to courts to make a decision and we all have to honor that decision even if we don’t agree with it. No guns should be used in the streets we not living in the old western, we need new methods so I can feel comfortable leaving home and just because they are the police don’t mean I trust them. I think back on Katherine Johnson, a 92 year old killed in her own home, Breanna Taylor, and the list goes on and on and on and we still don’t know how to find another way and you think killing is ok. 

I look at Jan 6 and listen to your opinion and I shake my head in disbelief that you don’t understand you are a bigot, or you don’t mind the fact I know you are one…

PS we all have ever right to defend ourselves against invaders in our homes, Katherine Johnson stood her ground, why they didn’t knock on her door and ask had she seen the person they were looking for